The Struggle is Real: Second Resolutions Check In
Check In #2: The Struggle is Real
This past week I have struggled with quieting my mind. Before, meditation brought ease and rejuvenation, but now it feels like a swamp I have to slug through.
The feeling of “struggle” has been following me throughout my day. Everything feels hard. My to-do list is never ending. I am not excited to wake up in the morning and get on with my day, like I normally would.
With this struggle comes feeling uninspired…
There is a constant push and pull within me. I have learned from my practice of meditation that allowing the feeling and sitting with it is the best way to work through this heaviness, but right now I find it all to be just hard.
I feel like the kid who is crying because they are tired but they don’t want to go to bed. Right now, all I want to do is cry (metaphorically and actually).
This feeling of exhaustion is not new to me. But I am continuing on with my practice of meditation, and reflection instead of giving up.
I enjoy upward progression, not the ups and downs that is life. If I feel like I am going “backwards” I tend to want to throw in the towel and try something else. But here I sit in this feeling of frustration and maybe I can start to allow it, because I know that this too shall pass. Practicing be present in my life, might just help when I feel this way again (which will undoubtedly happen).
So this is my written exploration of sitting with the tired, unfocused and frustrated. Allowing the feeling to be, allowing it to live inside of me and experience it, rather than pushing up against it and trying to make myself feel something different.