The Power of a Goodbye
I feel the change the most when I reminisce about my childhood, how different it was when I was growing up, compared to how children are growing up now. But as my childhood gets farther and farther away, I have come to understand change is also a good thing, it allows us to move out of our comfort zones and evolve.
This subject of change has come up for me because last week I had to say goodbye to a dear friend. As I was walking down the street with tears in my eyes, I realized that goodbye is never easy, but it is inevitable.
Change has always been hard for me, the unknown tends to get me anxious and letting go makes me sad. But upon reflection, I am often ready to move on to the next thing, I love the feeling of forward movement in terms of learning and evolving. So as for my relationship status with change I would have to put “it’s complicated.”
However, I do believe that change is often hard for all of us at one time or another, as Brooke Castillo talked about in her podcast, when you choose life, you inevitably choose death. This means letting go of what was, like a job, a relationship, or a loved one, and moving on to what is. Although that might sound hard and scary, there is always the possibility that this change has made way for a new opportunity for us.
For my friend and I, goodbye is a change, a change in our relationship, and that is precisely why it is so painful. However, if what we think about a circumstance is what causes us to feel a certain way, I could be able to understand and change my thinking about the circumstance of my friend leaving and therefore change how I was feeling.
If you think about it, this circumstance (say my friend leaving) is not a problem until I have a thought about it, it just is. Say she left without telling me, I would not all of the sudden feel sadness the moment she left the borders of America, I would have to be told she has left and then have a thought about the circumstance, which in turn would cause a feeling.
My thought about the circumstance was “we will not have the same type of relationship we had before.” This caused me sadness, but I decided that I was going to allow this feeling to vibrate through my body and truly feel it. By feeling the sadness rather than pushing it away, the intense feeling of sadness waned. I still feel it here and there, but it has become less intense.
I also had a thought shift. Instead of thinking about how our relationship will never be the way it was again, I instead thought that this change was an opportunity to create a different relationship out of it.
So in closing, change is hard, but it is inevitable. We have the power to shift our thinking and therefore change our feeling about a circumstance. By using change as an opportunity to evolve, rather than seeing it as the death of something wonderful, we are able to change our outlook on the situation.
Much love my friends, and remember it’s never “goodbye” only see you later.